Coming to Bergen has been an amazing adventure. I have seen so many things that I never would have seen, met people that come from wildly different cultures than me, and realized that home is something that is a lot more than just the place you are.

For a long time now, I have struggled with being motivated. Some could argue that my teachers always were easy on me being lazy when I was younger, allowing me to slack off since a lot of it came easily to me. I think that the issue is much deeper than that though. I have always been a nervous person. When I was little, my friends couldn’t watch certain movies around me without me getting scared (Star Wars was out of the question for a long time). Normally I stayed quiet in the corner of the classroom during free time and would read a book. I didn’t take much time to socialize or be a very good friend. I didn’t see the point. They scared me, my book about dragons doesn’t, so why face my fears?

Facing my fears has gotten easier. I tend to start a project, do it to the minimum that is necessary, then stop. It’s great that I am trying new things, giving myself a chance to experience something, but I never fulfil the desire to do something by doing that. All of my dreams and plans in my notebook that I keep in my pocket remain untouched, because I am afraid to try to succeed.

What is success though? I guess that’s all subjective, but I think that success should be defined by leading a life that fulfils you. The biggest struggle for anyone is finding the thing that excites you, interests you. That may not end up being your job. It probably won’t be. Fulfillment doesn’t come from money, power, or anything else for that matter. It comes from living a life that you feel is worthwhile. Maybe that’s the key to being motivated. Do things that you think are worthwhile. Starting with something that is just for you, then working bigger is the way to go. Don’t stop working on whatever fulfills you, exercise, woodworking, making websites, travelling. Stop watching Netflix and YouTube. Go out and see the world. Stop worrying about everything else. Listen to your own advice.

There’s a continuation of this rant here

Written on November 9, 2017